You cannot understand what you do not accept.

“I don’t understand” and any variation of that statement is often a trigger for someone to start explaining.  

I don’t understand, can be a call for clarity, mostly however it is the first sign of resistance about a set of circumstances. 

“Why would they do this to me?”

“How is it possible?

“I don’t understand how this can be happening” are all statements of non acceptance rather than a plea for clarification. 

“It is what is” became a trending mantra .  Others couldn’t’ stand the phrase  “Saying that is like giving up” they’ll tell you. “You must fight for what you want they’ll say.” 

I say this: to resist what is, is a form of denial. While we are in a state of denial we cannot move forward as we are preoccupied instead in resisting what is.  So acceptance is the first step.  

By accepting your circumstances as they are, regardless as to how painful they may be empowers you then look beyond your current state and for what the best next steps are of you.  

The way forward always starts from where you are- not from where you want to be.

You got this.